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So Tweak just said “happy single’s awareness day”… is it surprising to anyone that not a day goes by that I’m not aware of my singleness? Perhaps in realizing there’s not much to be happy about on 'normal' days, I should be happy about it just for today?
Because honestly, every day- I am acutely aware every time I come home and no one greets me naked at the door with a cocktail, the dishes aren’t done, the floor not vacuumed, house not dusted, kitchen not mopped, bed not made, shower not scrubbed, dirty clothes still dirty, towels not folded, mail still in mailbox, bills in need of payment, checkbook unbalanced, trash in need of taking out, house cluttered, I’m out of coffee, creamer, sugar, ( those are the worst days for me) the grass growing, fence in need of weed-eating, yard in need of landscaping, plants needing water, refrigerator empty, litter box in need of emptying, or I'm out of catfood... I'm aware that I'm the only person living here.
….and then of course, not a day goes by that I don’t realize I’m not having SEX !
Did I miss anything? My dear single friends, please feel free to add to the list !!! Or if you’re not single and remember the days of old… or want to tell us “be glad you don’t have to …” then by all means, jump right in :)
P.S. Shout out to firehead…. I have the tv on in the background and just heard Number 15 on vh1’sMaxim Hot 100 just state that Guitar Hero is the greatest game ever made :) so I hope that alleviates any shame you may be feeling over your enjoyment of it :p
And they just had a commercial for a 'Rhythym of the 90's' double CD that I think I must buy... because it has Stereo MC's 'Connected' and dammit, I used to dance my ass off to that song!!! I was often single then too, but those were far more fun single days... not only was I in Atlanta for the entire decade, but I was younger and surrounded by queers and/or very colorful wonderful people.
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| 2008-01-01 18:27 |
| Share your piece of friendly advice in 2008: |
| Public |
| in my head |
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True story. I'm living it as I type. Decided I could sacrifice my (good?) name
to help out my friends in the interest of creating a sort of
Perverse or Reverse Resolution List.
"Due to your excellant advice, I will never _______ in 2008, or any day thereafter."
So, please fill in the blanks to save your flist future humiliation :
I will not __________ .
While trying to convince myself ___________ .
Because my experience in so doing proved __________ .
So really, take my advice and don't try it!
I will not cut up a CORNDOG in my lettuce, broccoli, and spinach salad.
No matter how much I wanted to add some sort of protein and/or meat or cheese flavor but literally had nothing else in the house.
While trying to convince myself it tasted just like a Mick's Fried Chicken Salad.
Because my experience in so doing proved regardless of your keen imagination, it tastes exactly and disgustingly like cornbread and a hotdog in lettuce, spinach, broccoli with ranch dressing. And that is possibly the newest "you know you're a redneck if..." punchline which you have spent your entire life going out of your way to prove is sooo not true of you, regardless of your state of origin.
So really, take my advice and don't try it.
ps. tried my first 'below the cut' but failed. Maybe next time :p
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Ahhhh! Tweak's going to give me nightmares! He just said "i'll get you, my pretty" Isn't that Wizard of Oz? Or 101 Dalmatians? Or some other equally scarey and traumatic movie from my childhood that I never watched in it's entirety because I was scared out of my poor 7 year old mind?
Jeez, I thought I'd be safe here of all places! ... LMAO... but seriously.
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